on nights like these, i really feel like dying. u noe jus perish from the earth and be gone forever. so i dont have to bother about anything thats happening. im so sick and tired of trying to make things better and hope everything will be alright. but whenever i try to believe that all things are solved, they just have to fail me. i felt as if im being raised high up to the top, and den jus fall straight down, right to the bottom of the pit. i feel terrible. my emotions seem to scream at me, and i feel clueless. i dunno what i should do anymore. all i want is for people to understand me. just understand. i dun ask for more. but what i get is not understanding, rather, its misunderstanding. it makes me feel like im some fucking pathetic piece of crap trying to screw up people's life. i feel like shit, literally. its not that i've not try to face the problem. i did. i really did. but all my efforts seem to just go into the drain - washed away and be gone forever. so what for i do so much? what for i care so much? why do i even bother? i wish someone could just tell me i'm plain stupid and useless. yes, i feel fucked up right now, so sue me. think what i just said is a pack of lies? kill me then. i would gladly accept that. im not asking for any sympathy, i just need a place for me to release my emotions.
the weekends are here once again! i guess there's nth much to look forward to during the weekends, except that i can get some rest after a busy week in sch. hmms.. its week 5 now.
on thurs, i went to vivocity with yawen, qq, sharon, shermian and yx. initially, i wanted to head back home after sch, cos i want to finish up my concept paper. but in the end, followed them to vivocity after much considerations. hurhur. i managed to do my concept paper [almost finished] in sch while waiting for VB lesson to end, for yawen, qq and shermian. as usual, vivocity is pretty crowded, and cold. we just walked around and went to have our dinner at carls jr. i didnt eat much. hmms. after that, we sat around the table and talk abt lotsa stuff. it's like a sharing session among us. its amazing how much things have changed and happened in just one and a half years.
oh yah, the ice lemon tea that me and sharon shared has coffee flavour! it tasted very weird. we chit chatted till 10pm before we decided to go home. didnt feel like going home cos we just wan to continue chatting. but too bad theres sch the nxt day. T.T
and for yesterday, we started our VEFX filming! we sorted out all of the documents while waiting for sharon's fren to come. he is the actor for our film btw. we filmed from 530pm, all the way till 8pm. and it's freezing inside the VEFX studio. brrr. i prefer green screen.. blue screen has a lot of shadows. and the noob broke his slippers while playing with it using his feet. hahaha. he had to wear his track shoes in the end. our group den went to jp for dinner after that.